slits by razor.

farewell dinner.

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 18:33:03 GMT

Venue: Temasek Secondary School.
Time: 7.30pm - camp is over
Theme: Black & Red
Occasion: Sports Captain Farewell Dinner

nissa came over to get ready with me. :) so together, gether we got ready. :) i just repeated myself. she thought that coming to my house at 5.30pm is too early to get ready. but guess what, we were done a few minutes before 7pm. and mommy drove us to school. :)

yup, that's my best friend, all right! :D
*that's my necklace she's wearing. :)
** it's a good thing ceejay gave me a red necklace for christmas07. :)
i cannot imagine life without her. i think i'll be screwed!

some band that played for us. :)
and that guitarist is my classmate who took part in SUPERBAND! :D

aqeel, my man! :D he sang, all right. and when we were walking to the canteen to take picture because of the lighting, he sang to me. AWWWW! :D
"Because tonight will be the night that I will fall for you, over again. don’t make me change my mind."
hahahaha, so cute right? :) but then, he went off to sing it to barbara later on. -.-

i think i take quite nice pictures. :)

farewell gifts from the Sports Captains. :) awww...

nissa's daddy sent me home. :) we left school about 1015pm. and what did i do after reaching home and bathing? hurhur..

yeap, i watched this movie. hahaha. i think i've been watching malay movies, lately! I'M IMPROVING MY MALAY INSTEAD OF CHINESE! :D
hahaha. nothing big, this show. sooo much like congkak. pffft.

ps: will wait for more pictures from venice and barbara. :D

GOODBYE! THIS IS MY LAST POST! :D

Fri, 13 Jun 2008 07:55:28 GMT

GOODBYE!
it seems like no one reads my blog. this ends tomorrow night. :)

Thu, 12 Jun 2008 06:04:21 GMT

1. To love someone is to allow him to destory you, but trusting him not to do so.
~~2. I must be strong, and love the sound of you walking away.~~
3. Mascara bleeds a blackened tear.
4. If you love him, let him go. If he comes back, you two are meant to be. ~~But he never did, and never will.~~
5. So if you're lonely, you know I'm here waiting for you and here I am, fighting not to cry and thats another reason why I ought to hate you like I do.
6. You're the reason I'm leaving, if we're leaving, we don't stop living.
7. No chance for one more day.
8. I found you here, now please stay for a while, I can move with you around.
9. Hating hurt the most when he means everything to you, but you mean nothing to him.
10. I can't live if you're unhappy, I can't live if you cry. But I can live without you, if it makes you happy.

i think this would be the dessert for the waterworks to come when a relationship goes down.
no idea why i put it up. but i somehow think it is true. :s

*taken from steffi's old blog. (forgot to put that in :x)

take a bow.

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 15:14:05 GMT

i always thought charm bracelets are the prettiest and has the most value in them. until now, i still think so. :)
because behind every trinkets, there is a meaning. that is what i love about charm bracelets. because if everyone were to own one, it will be different. :) that is why it is superly nice. :)
but also, charm bracelets are expensive. :( because it all needs to be bought separately. :(
ahhwells!
if i could own a charm bracelet, i'll be the happiest girl alive. :)
maybe it is time to whine to mommy? :D haha. nahhhh..

running it off.

Tue, 10 Jun 2008 10:03:20 GMT

lee ann has fallen sick. :s hahaha, it is funny how things work out this way. :) ohwells.
"aren't you gonna take medicine."
"there ain't any left."
"so, you are just gonna let it cure by itself?"
"maybe?"
maybe i should start taking. haha. feeling rotten. super rotten. and there isn't anyone to talk to. :( ~~who would want to waste their life talking to me?~~ no negative thoughts!

well, here's em' pictures. *sniff*

yup, it is their wedding! :)

yes, that is how we entertain ourselves when we don't mingle around. :)

mommy! :D

daddy! :D and family. *brother ain't in because he didn't go. :(

yes, my sister is as photogenic as can be. :) it somehow runs in the blood. :)
i did her hair for her. :) hehehe. and no one did my hair for me. :( HAHAHA!

well, we didn't leap like frogs, as granduncle jimmy thought all nonyas ladies would. :) we proved him wrong. :)
"then, you are a true peranakan."
HAHAHA, damn right, we are! :D

preparing the peranakan dish for brother's birthday is a torture. yeah, peranakan food is very tidous. :s but it is damnnnn gooooood! provided you have someone like me to cook. :) HAHAHAHAHAHA! :)

*coughs butt off* gosh, never coughed so badly before. :s ohwells!!

"does he call in the middle of the day,
just to say 'baby, i love you' like you used to?"

twirls.

Mon, 09 Jun 2008 16:16:22 GMT

wedding was rather a bore. i thought the hotel would have been flooding with peranakan people. at least maybe more than what i saw. all those ladies in pretty kebayas. BUT THERE WERE ONLY SO LITTLE. :(
well, pictures will be up soon enough.
the food was so not up to standard. we expected better. haha, yes, coming from a family who loves food.
with the kebaya on, sometimes, i hate my car! i think it is too high especially in the sarong which can't stretch that much. :s

well, imran is now in frisco! :O lucky boy. haha, he messaged me when he reached. :) hahaha. awww, so sweet. :)
it is good talking to him all over again after four years. :)

"we danced through the night.
and we held each other tight."

dear yuanli,

Fri, 06 Jun 2008 15:56:51 GMT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY!
hehehe! i wanted to be the last to message you and wish you but i lost your contact. :s
so, i might probably be the last to wish you on the blog. :D
hope you had a great birthday! :D may your special wish come true! :D take care!

love, lee ann.

gone, baby, gone.

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 15:02:25 GMT

i miss getting surprises. :(
i forgot the feeling of being surprised. :( ohwells.

ps: mommy thinks that a star keychain would go nicely with my bag. but we never seem to be able to find one. :( even more sad!

at the end..

Thu, 05 Jun 2008 04:15:58 GMT

i'm really starting to feel better now. it feels better actually. i don't know, maybe i'll just live this day and see what else i would have in stored for me tomorrow. :)
for God holds tomorrow,
and He always holds my hand.
well, so imma blog about things on a lighter note. but before that...

the day started out terrible as i dragged my legs to school. the stars on my bag and shoes were there to remind me about certain things. but nothing really mattered at that point. it started to drizzle and it got a little heavier. i was on the verge of tearing but i knew deep down i was stronger than i thought. feeling more confident, i looked up..

i saw the rainbow. (kinda faint seeing from here) and it just felt that i shouldn't worry anymore and everything will get better. and i always remember Kelly's message to me.
kelly love: darling... see the rainbow okay.. know i will always love you! and that all i want is the best for you. *** i'm gonna fight with you. yay!
that'll bring a smile to my face and i know things will be fine. :)

just stoning in class made me remind myself that i'm already secondary four and everything's ending soon. i always remember how in secondary one who did a film for some subject in the boys' toilet. and in secondary two we painted toilets to make them happy toilets. and in secondary three i remember having the worst relationship ever in the ending of the secondary two year! HAHAHAHAHAHA! that's mean to say, but i think it is true. never cried so much before. okay, okay. in secondary three i remember the great date of 17 august. :) and in secondary four I'M OLD!

the badges i received throughout my schoolyear. but i'm dedicated to sports captains, you see. :)

can you imagine? this dude who always cheers me up was a faaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat baby?!

anyhoos, i saw MR JOHN WONG FROM SAINT PATRICK'S SECONDARY WHO'S IN SHOOTING CLUB(i know many johns, that's why) twice in one week. :s STALKER! hahaha. joke! :) who would guess that i'll see him at ANG MO KIO! hello?! we're both at the east. hahaha. ohwells.

ELIZABETH! THIS IS FOR YOU! :))))

the pain.

Tue, 03 Jun 2008 14:08:49 GMT

the night was lonely. the room was dark. all that was heard was the resistance to cry out loud. the soft sobbing. the wet pillow beneath the head. it hurt just thinking about everything, especially about things that you can never solve.
things that God had plan that is beyond the control. why does it hurt so bad when it is safe in His hands? why is it that impossible things to solve are the biggest problem that you face everyday and you just wish someone is there to listen to you and just to find out how you are everyday? why does everything seem to hurt so bad when things aren't going the way you wanted it to go? why, oh, why?
less than 3 hours of sleep before dragging myself to Church for the 6.30am mass for my greatest grandfather.
PraiseTheLord for the smart person who invented glasses to make puffy eyes look normal under em' glasses.
PraiseTheLord for people who think the eyes are formed due to lack of sleep and also because it looked like it under em' glasses.
11 years went past. how fast is that? what memory can i hold on to? i wish there was... i wish there was something more than pictures. (the rest are PRIVATE - if you get what i mean)

"hey, are you all right?"
"why you ask?"
"you seem super sad and so not yourself."
if my track&field JUNIOR could notice something was wrong with me, i don't see the reason why others closer to me can't. maybe there might be realisation but not the concern to ask. maybe...
but i thank the great Lord for the classmates He has given me. for them to see how shitty i was and lifting me up by doing extremely stupid things which got me to smile by the end of the day. :)
but then again, i never like it when i'm left alone. with no one to be there to talk to me and get my spirit up again. let the thoughts just flow right in.
i'll live, won't i? :)
yes, i will!

Mon, 02 Jun 2008 12:56:29 GMT

when i thought i could make it through, i'm starting to have doubts about it already.
i need to get away from here and that is difficult to.
i just wanna break down and be alone.

"you are the perfect example of a good daughter and a good athlete."
-Coach Zehnders

when everything's going terribly wrong, at least i know my coach still believes in me.
but it is quite hard for that to bring me through it all.
i need to leave and go far away and just go missing to many people and just keep to myself.
goodbye.

catch your star.

Sun, 01 Jun 2008 04:40:26 GMT

yes, the holy water completed the altar. :)
anyhoos, great youth mass. i think facebook is kinda good. since the response for attending was more than 22 people. :) but by the end of it, i was drained. and my arm hurt so badly.

"i don't wanna do anything. :( "
"okay, then can you just pull the curtain out of the poles?"
reluctantly, i walk around to one of the poles and pull the curtains out. if it weren't for the chair holding the pole up, i think my arm could have broke. :s it hurt so terribly just holding it up just to pull out the curtains.

"wait, it hurts."
"you injure your arm? or are you emotionally injured? *laughs*"
and that made me smile. it sounded funny the way teresa said it.

thank you kelly for the kisses. :) haha, i just realised that sounded funny. nevermind, thank you for the KISSES! :D
thank you david for making me do a silly pose which lifted my spirit a little. :)
thank you tony for "entertaining" me by irritating me and i still wanna burn you with my lighter. :) hehehe.

and my hand didn't hurt when he held my hand. it just made things way better. :)))))))

wear my crown.

Fri, 30 May 2008 12:35:19 GMT

"be careful of the blade. it is extremely sharp. i've had many who bled. please be careful!" -teacher
"shit, i cut myself." - her
"oh man, are you okay? i'll take over from here. go away." - me
"you cut yourself?" - teacher
"yeah" - her
"apply pressure and take a plaster from me. -leaves and comes back- there is no more plasters, so please don't cut yourself!" - teacher
"can you go away and leave all this to me?" - me
"gimme something to do!" - her
"apply pressure!" -t eacher
"damn, the blade is sharp! i cut myself too! at least it ain't as bad as you!" - me

thankfully, the misfourtune wasn't on me. but sadly, it was my best friend - nabilah. :( worse of all, it was her shooting finger she cut. :( damnnnnnnnn.. and she had training after that. *sigh sigh* anyone who laughs at this, get a new heart, please...
training is gonna put me to bed soon. i pray that i won't wake up in the middle of the night over and over again. :(

backtrack.

Thu, 29 May 2008 14:05:34 GMT

wednesday
a great dream shifted to another which awoke me finally. a tough time to sleep as everytime a turn was made, the head ache and i was awaken in pain. the opening of the door and the presence of me sent the thought: "don't tell me she vomited after the fall on tuesday! don't tell me she needs to go to hospital!" through my mother's mind. praise the Lord, it wasn't. the car zoomed to school to make it in time.
it ended in a baaaaaaaaaaaaad day.

thursday
"i'm up!" :D that was the first thing that crossed my mind as i got up from quite a tough night. the same as last night. the pain was still there. and in the neck too. i was stiff as a log. everything hurt.
7 new messages was shown on my phone. i pray hard in my heart "would it be you?" it made the morning better to see 5 messages from you. the least expected but the greatest joy. :)
training hurt but i survived.
workshop was dry but i made it. i made a choice to make it better and more enjoyable. ridiculous questions came my way. how naive were these people. how narrow minded they were.
God bless them all.

excruciating.

Tue, 27 May 2008 14:58:18 GMT

DANG!

as my legs took me, the floor had me. ouch went the floor on this rainy day. whoosh went my body against the slippery floor. the floor tasted the agony of my head which screamed.
pain filled my face. giddy-ness filled my head. blur filled my vision. hurt filled my back. hand produced blood. everything spun around me. voices filled my head - "lee ann, are you all right?"
"just continue running" was the reply.
in the mere seven seconds i laid there, my legs took off again, despite everything i felt.

when i thought the pain was over, training started. i've pushed myself beyond the limits that i could go. everyone could see that. everyone could feel that. praises and compliments filled the stand. we smiled and we trained hard. circuit training was extremely tough but we made it. today was great. but, i'm in terrible pain.

"God bless. take care. seeing you at the track inspires me. especially when you know how to manage your time well"
-Coach Zehnders.
*made my extremely tired day so much better

sweat it.

Mon, 26 May 2008 11:54:07 GMT

i think i did the silliest thing by going to the hairdressers and then to training. :) maybe because i didn't think my hairdresser would wanna gimme curls. i seriously think he likes me in curls. he is so persistant for me to perm my hair. -.- and he thinks i'm weird because he says usually people with straight hair likes wavy or curly hair and vice versa. however, i love my straight hair. :) this is to explain why i say he likes curls.
on my confirmation day, he gave me curls in my hair.

and see my today's hair...

the second picture makes it look as if my hair is so brown! :s but it isn't! it was seriously the flash!

training was wow! i just many of us couldn't feel our legs anymore. :s adding to it, it was a really hot day. :s
i was just browsing through my picture folder and i realise i miss many many people. :s dangggg.

ohwells.
tata peeps! :D

bummer.

Sun, 25 May 2008 15:38:30 GMT

sometimes, i think people should mind their own business and not poke into others. it's funny how people sometimes try and act nice one minute just to find out things for gossips. the world is really screwed now. i'm just saying this on a general term.

GOOD LUCK FOR MOTHER TONGUE PAPER TOMORROW, EVERYONE! DO WELL FOR O'S! AND THEN CAN STOP STUDYING FOR IT ALREADY! :D

gracious me.

Sat, 24 May 2008 13:06:31 GMT

watch me survive through the week with school and training every single day.
watch me make it through, because i will.

desmond is a mean donkey!
be grateful, old boy. that i'm still nice to you. BLAHHHH!
:pp

Thu, 15 May 2008 09:47:50 GMT

HAPPY ONE YEAR, HANLYN AND WENPIN! :D

hanlyn: aren't you glad i talked to you about it. i'm your lucky star, you donkey! HAHAHAH! you should love me more. :)
wenpin: stop bullying her! and me too. but more of her, or i'll kick your butt!

hope you two will last like really outrageously long. and grow old together. :D

<3 lee ann! (((:

Tue, 22 Apr 2008 10:56:12 GMT

totally stolen off cheryl's blog to show how stone i was on monday and how stupid and forgetful i can get. :pp

I absolutely adore leeann's reaction when I was whining and complaining about cheena oral!
"HA?!!! GOT ORAL AH?!"
Leeann! You're the BEST! ;)

bestfriends! :D

Mon, 07 Apr 2008 10:18:30 GMT

yes, i am here to blog about 040408. why? because my dearest bestfriends all came to my house and gave me a huge surprise. *i was sleeping when they came* hehehe. anyhoos, when they heard i woke up, they ran out of the house. goodness. yes, jiejie tried to lie to me that no one was at the gate when i clearly saw mr ng kang yu standing and smiling at me when he was suppose to be in hiding with nissa and kelly. HAHAHAHA! they hated him for that. :pp well, anyhoos, they came in and yeah... PEEEKTURES!

yay, kelly, nissa and kangyu, respectively. :D
well, we then cut cake and ordered pizza. and they called nabilah to come over. since their whole plan of going to heeren to surprise me was scratched. so.. yes, but she came at like 8pm++ and all this was happening at 6pm++ well, she is excused since her cca ended at about 6pm++ stupid shooting. hehehe. :pp but it's okay, because she got 99! hehehe. inside joke. :D

nabilah and ceejay is missing. :(( BECAUSE SHE HASN'T COME! AND HE COULDN'T COME!

yes, nabilah. :D woot woot. we didn't plan to wear green. :D lookie at the cakes she brought. :D hehehe.

yes, our arguments since two years ago never seem to stop. AHAHAHHA! :D

this is what i do what kangyu is having a "serious" talk with me. XD

this is what happens when i leave my camera with kelly. oh, wait no! she takes my camera to do this. hehehe.

you see, when kelly has my camera! hahaha.

for the last picture, nabilah wanted to leave but i didn't let her. HAHAHA!
"ahhh, i'm being kidnapped!" - nabilah.

from kangyu and kelly respectively.
kangyu wants me to study real hard for my o's so i won't regret! :)
kelly wants me to be less unhappy, so she suggested paramore. -.- oops. HAHAH! and the book is about...i haven't started. :pp

okay, after all the best friends left, alia came. :)

oooo, i love the balloon! heheh. i've wanted that since two years ago! :D but i only saw the smaller one. wonder where she got the bigger one from. :)
yes, we managed to catch up a little before her brother came. :)

060408
dinner with church people. :) i was lazy to take picture of what they gave. but rachel gave me a cup. brandon and jason gave me a bracelet/wristband? either one. and shaun gave me a dvd called flywheel. something to do about God. :) dinner'd at cafe cartel. :) yupyup. soon, eugene, gericho, marcus, joshua, betris and kenji joined. :) and i got jellybeans because rachel lost her bet to me. :D hehehe.
we seriously crapped during dinner. -.- especially about the chinkeees! hehehe.
reached home about 1030pm? oops. I HAD SCHOOL THE NEXT DAY!
i think i'm good? hehe.

many peeeektures! :D

Fri, 04 Apr 2008 06:26:47 GMT

from cherylTHEBRAVIEST! :D okay, the pendant can't really be seen. it is a star pendant! :D two stars.

from jen. :D *nike dunks... baby shoes. but nike..er??* HAHAHAHA!

from nissa darling. :D hehehe. *i felt like a three year old kid XD*

first picture, aunty esther. second, chinese tutor. :D

and now, the bestest best best presents from the family. :D

WOOOOOT~! the adidas shoes are from my sister. :D the adidas jacekt from mommy. :D
the adidas handbag and the bouquet of sixteen roses are from my godmother. :D
WOOOOT WOOOOOT! :D yes, brother owes me present. :D

dinnnnnnnnnner! :D

sushi tei! yumyum! i won't post much crazy pictures, but imma post classic ones of my siblings. :pp

[it took ages for me to get my brother to smile properly.] [the fight for the last piece]

[the siblings...check out my sister] [i was bored, yes]

yes, the bill. HAHAHAHAHAHHA! i feel guilty. :pp

random peeektures!

my sister and abby(hers).

my brother and spotty(his).

me and wagger(MINE!) i think the second picture is hilariously cute!

can you go on your toes like me? can you jump as high as me? do you have roses like mine? HAHAHAHA! :D

hahaha, so cute right? class board. :D

i'm finally done blogging. :D hehehe. 6 more hours until i go and meet nabilah! :D wheee~! she wants to date me. :))))

i'm good.. :)

Thu, 03 Apr 2008 11:56:24 GMT

first and foremost, HAPPY BIRTHDAY LEE ANN! :D hahahah.

anyhoos, i wanna thank some people first. :)
according to who wished first and this is through message. :)
a big thank you to:
my brother. :) my godmother. :) edna junior. :) kelly love. :) nix darling. :) nabilah dearie. :) jerome. :) kang yu. :) cheston. :) fengmao. :) cherlyn. :) mommy. :) jon desker. :) ashraf junior. :) rachel. :) muzzammil. :) aunty jah. :)
and from those who wished one day before, as they can't wish today:
shaun. :) ganesh. :)

and also my sister who wrote on our whiteboard in the room. :)
my family is funny, message and still wished at home. :)
daddy is a bit kuku. :p

i wanna especially thank cherylTHEBRAVIEST and jen for the presents. :)
eunice and barbara for the livejournal greeting.

and my whole class who kept wishing non stop and singing birthday songs to me over and over again.
yes, i hid from them when they wanted to whack me. :) i sat on the floor in the corner. :)
HAHAHAHA, I ROCK!

PRESENTS ARE FRIGGING OUT OF THIS WORLD, BODOH! the first year, everything given to me was adidas! FUYOOOO! especially my shoes which were just sent to singapore and only two places in the whole singapore has it. FUYOOOO! pictures will be up tomorrow or later tonight.
DINNER WAS FUYOOOO! :D
you'll see pictures tomorrow.

though they are things was are quite disappointing, i shall bring myself to not remember them. i'm suppose to be happy right? well, as mommy said, i'll only end up hurting myself. :) so, *kicks thoughts away*

tata, loves. :)

Wed, 02 Apr 2008 08:30:59 GMT

we did a great job, didn't we, trackers? :D hehehe. anyhoos, yes i know it is a late post. but better than nothing. :) anyhoos, you trackers are great! clinching many gold trophies and medals. and i know this picture doesn't have all the medals since first finals we won more! doesn't matter. anyhoos, we will work together towards nationals and we will get into finals and get points for our school, ain't? :) i know we can!

BESTFRIEND!

yes, we won and did great! :D and there is a reason for our hand signals! :D *grins*

three years of friendship and counting. :) our trophies for that day's event. hers on the left, mine on the right. :)

02042008

when teachers are not in class and when we get resless waiting for the teacher, we do rubbish, but yes, we still control our volumes. :)

see hanlyn's hair! AHAHAHAHA! rina was doing something stupid and she was watching her. yet, hanlyn was wondering why nabilah and i were laughing our head off so hard! little did she know that when she was looking at rina, peiyun was putting paper clips on her hair which belonged to huilian! HAHAHAHA! she never realised until we told her. and i snapped a picture and showed her. :D oh, fun times! however, teacher came soon after. hehehe.

so cute right? i know. HAHAHA! haziq wrote it before school started. hehehe. :) so sweet. but i'm scared as they are gonna gimme a birthday bash tomorrow! AHHHH! and they are all telling me to watch out. goodness! i don't wanna go to school tomorrow. HAHAHAHA! but they will miss my presence. :pp
i need protection tomorrow. BUT THE ONLY MALE BEST FRIEND I HAVE IS STUPID NG KANG YU WHO GRADUATED TWO YEARS AGO! KANASAI!!!
no more protection. :(((

dear trackers

Thu, 27 Mar 2008 09:53:59 GMT

hey temasek trackers! :D
good luck for tomorrow! :D i know we will do as well as year before last or even better. we will show the schools how great we are. and that our great trainings have prepared us for tomorrow. :D and we will bring back as many medals and we will show the secondary fours who would be cheering for us from school. though they can't be there and we are all sad about it, we will still do our best, aite! :D
so, no matter what outcome, we will still hold our heads high as we have done our best and gave it our all! :D you trackers are the best, yo! :D
even though we have to get our butts to BISHAN STADIUM, we would still have fun joking on the bus. and not forgetting to focus too. :D
make sure you guys eat before coming to school at 6.30am! I REMIND YOU, 6.30AM! :D
make all our principal, vice principal, teachers, students, captain(khairyll), vice captains(ashley and me) and members, proud! because i know you would! :D
ALL THE BEST, LOVES! PLEASE TAKE CARE AND REST EARLY AND STRETCH WELL! :D
see you guys in school tomorrow! :D

love you all! :D